There are many things to prepare for a wedding and many people involved to help. This post will serve as a guide of who has what tasks.
Bride and Groom
The bride and groom work together for the majority of the wedding and planning. For them to have a day that is truly about the both of them they must work together to get what they both want. That includes everything from choosing the date and sending out thank you cards. However, there is so much in between. They must decide upon a venue, invitations, officiant, theme/color scheme, flowers, photographer, wedding cake, and picking out rings (the groom buys the bride’s ring and the bride buys the groom’s ring). Also, they must set a budget (unless that is set for them by whoever is helping pay for the wedding).
Although the bride shares many tasks which her groom, she still has choices to make on her own. First, she picks her maid of honor and bridesmaids. To thank them she organizes a bridesmaids’ luncheon where she will present them with gifts to show her appreciation of their hard work. Second, the bride buys her groom a gift. She might also prepare vows to share her love with him, if they choose to do so.
The groom also has his fair share of additional tasks for the big day, more than the bride even. First, he must choose his best man and groomsmen; the groom also picks their clothing. He will buy them thank you gifts to reward them for their hard work just like the bride does for her ladies. Second, the groom buys his bride a wedding gift. He would write vows for her also, again only if they decided to share vows on their wedding day. Third, he pays for their marriage license along with the fee for the officiant. Lastly, the groom reserves rooms at a nearby hotel for guests who will be traveling for the wedding.
Over time the tradition that the bride’s parents pay for all wedding expenses has somewhat went away. They still help, but the groom’s parents and the bride and groom open their wallets too. However, the bride’s parents have roles that aren’t as well known. Together they help with the guest list as needed and host the couples’ first engagement party. Along with lending a hand whenever their daughter needs advice. They do separate on a few details:
- The mother of the bride typically only has one additional task. She is to tell the groom’s mother what she has picked out to wear for the wedding so that their outfits don’t clash.
- The father on the other hand has many responsibilities for his daughter’s wedding. The most well-known role of the father is to walk his little girl down the aisle on the big day, probably the most important and tear-jerking task for him. Then, he gets to spend some quality time with her during the father-daughter dance at the reception. The bride’s father has many other jobs that he must attend to after the reception, making sure everyone gets paid!
The groom’s parents also throw an engagement party for the bride and groom is they wish, only after the bride’s parents have done theirs (if the groom’s parents choose not to host an engagement party then friends of the bride and groom are allowed to). They also help with the guest list. Their most important task as the groom’s parents is to organize and hold the couple’s rehearsal dinner, which is normally the night before the wedding. They may give money to help with the wedding just like the bride’s parents do.
Maid of Honor
The maid of honor, honor attendant if this role is given to a boy, is the most helpful person for the bride. She throws a bridal shower and bachelorette party for the bride along with many other smaller tasks. The maid of honor helps the bride with dresses and any other job she is asked. During the wedding, she witnesses the marriage of the bride and groom and signs their license. She also tends to all the details of the bride throughout. The maid of honor fixes the bride’s train and veil as needed along with holding her bouquet. After the wedding, the maid of honor helps the bride get ready to go on her honeymoon.
It is extremely important to choose the right maid of honor because she (or he) is involved in almost every aspect of the wedding. Someone like Jane from 27 Dresses would be a better choice than Tom in Made of Honor.
The bridesmaids do not have any exclusive jobs. They do not have as much responsibility as the maid of honor, but they help her with her tasks. Whatever the maid of honor needs the bridesmaids are ready to help. They also directly help the bride along the way.
The flower girl simply has to look cute and walk down the aisle. She can drop flower petals as she walks or just carry a small bouquet of her own. The flower girl is normally no older than 8, but just be careful not to go so young that she isn’t comfortable with her job.
The best man is the groom’s equivalent of the maid of honor; he is just as important as she is too. He is the other signature on the bride and groom’s wedding license. He has to throw the groom a bachelor party, make sure all the men in the wedding have the right clothes, confirms honeymoon reservations the day before, returns all rented items after the wedding, and much more. He toasts the couple at their rehearsal dinner and reception following the wedding ceremony. The best man is responsible for bringing the groom’s clothes to him and getting him to the wedding on time. The best man keeps track of the bride’s wedding ring and the money to be given to the officiant. After the reception is coming to a close, the best man is responsible for getting the bride and groom’s bags into their car and well as decorating it.
The groomsmen are in the same boat as the bridesmaids. They have no additional responsibilities, but are there for support. If the groom and best man need something done, they may be asked to take on a task or two. For the most part, groomsmen help with the bachelor party and show up early to the wedding to help wherever they are needed.
The ring bearer is similar to the flower girl, but is given more responsibility. The ring bearer is normally a young boy, about the same age as the flower girl, who walks down the aisle with a satin pillow, often at the same time as the flower girl. The pillow holds the bride and groom’s wedding rings. When the time comes, the best man and maid of honor take the rings from the pillow and give them to the bride and groom to exchange.